To the Crazy One…

This and This feels like all there needs to be said tonight.

My plans of polishing off my 500 words on personal statements this evening, posting it with my new determinations, and celebrating a job well done with a Pumpking ran headlong into reality of life happening tonight. My coffeeshop/bar is out of the Southern Tier seasonal and midway into my edit my phone alights with news of the passing of Steve Jobs.

I feel posting anything else but something on Steve is not appropriate tonight— especially not my lowly thoughts about making a personal statement and standing proud in the face of your words. His statement is bigger than mine could ever be. So I’m sipping an nitro-tap Old Rasputin and will pay my respects by sharing what I’m feeling tonight.

I’m sad that the world has lost this amazing man.

Tributes to his greatness, more eloquent than mine, are on the apple site and tweets from all corners (from Obama2012 to LordVoldermort) speak to the incredible impact Steve had on the world. I am saddened more than I would have imagined over the loss of someone I never met— a “celebrity” at that.

It feels very personal.

Not just in a fanboi, “think of all the gadgets that he created…what an amazing inventor… think of all we won’t have now…” kind of way (although I type this on my Air which I love and I tweeted from my iPhone that I also love and I appreciate and feel that aspect for sure). I’m so moved because his was an inspirational spirit whose life was a statement to doing things on your own terms.

Think Different.

I go back to his statements at Stanford. His story. His example.

His lesson is “life is too short to live it on someone else’s terms” right?

His message doesn’t weaken now. I completely realize that it in fact it probably strengthens. The inspiration for emulation is still there in me and I’m sure so very many, stronger today than yesterday. For me, it is not to leave such an impression on the world – to move humankind forward. I hope I do great things for others, sure, but I don’t really yearn to have a millionth the impact Steve did and therefore that hardly figures into the equation.

I do aspire greatly and humbly to have a life as well lived, on my own terms.

And it pisses me off, quite frankly, that he lived that, he set the bar, and his life was cut far too short. We– I –get to learn from him, be inspired by his story, pushed by his example… and his journey— the ability to enjoy the life he created— is over. That’s what makes me sad… and anger is the secondary emotion most felt.

My 6 year-old-self screams and stamps: It’s not fair!

My older self echos that and thinks that really there is not much else to say. It isn’t fair.

Knowing that, feeling that, perhaps is all we can do.

Be sad. Pay respectful tribute. Turn the anger into passion for something worthwhile. Get up and try to continue the journey tomorrow.

Because the people that are crazy enough to try to change the world are are the ones that do…

Thank you Steve.

Oh and F@ck you Cancer, you mean son of a bitch.

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