I sit at my computer and the words just will not come.
I don’t want to think about it.
I don’t want to explain it.
I don’t want to tell the story one more damn time.
I just want it to go away.
My emotions, you might have guessed, are running pretty high.
I took a tumble during the GoRuck Challenge in Munich over the weekend. Somewhere between renditions of the Spongebob Squarepants theme song you see in this highlight reel, I tripped over a manhole cover while carrying the flag and fell on my face. I broke off half a front tooth and busted up my lip pretty good.
Stubborn chick I am, I finished the challenge and earned my 3rd GRT patch.
That was the easy part.
Who is that girl in the mirror?
Dealing with the damage has been more of a challenge. I didn’t get sewn up actually until Monday when I also started the process of a root canal.
I just kept my head down and pushing on through.”It’ll heal.” My first breakdown naturally followed the dentist appointment.
The emotionality of facing my face so altered has come in waves. At any moment I feel like I am one short breath from the sluice gates opening. So I am breathing deep.
I have prided myself for pushing to be more open with those who ask about how I’m really doing in the last 24 hours than I have ever before.
Yet I just can’t write about it yet. I have scattered sentences and threads of thought… but nothing cohesive. And then I thought: just talk about it. Tap into my new-found strength-in-vulnerability and do something else I have been avoiding because it scares me: video.
It is both freeing and more scary to press record when I feel like I am looking my worst (actually it was a lot worse 2 days ago, swelling and scab are much reduced today — you’re welcome).
So without further procrastination…
Good, bad, easy, hard…
Always be IN,